Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone
a kiss. There is the peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each
cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab
with your hand, the madly passionate kiss, the kiss on the hand, the kiss of
death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the town of Kissimmee (founded by early
Italian pioneer kissers) in Florida.Kissing is easy to transport. See how it livens things
up?Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most countries. All over a seemingly
innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport ever?Some say "football". Allow me to recount
just a few of the reasons.Kissing is a very versatile sport. But a quick
call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the
UK, the local plumber in France)The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties,
usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm
onto the playing field.There are a few kisses we recommend Nike Tn you avoid. Every now and
then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled
and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. Some say
"baseball". It really doesn't matter where you are. Even so, kissing is still
safe, as long as you avoid the mouth area.Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps
the best news of all, because now dieters have something to keep their mouths busy
while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they
a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. Yes, kissing is the greatest sport
ever. Canadians say "hockey". (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")Kissing is organic, low
in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients
that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who
am I to stifle your sense of adventure.You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend,
your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick
and your pet aardvark. requin tn Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to
retain all your vital organs. Try this: the next time you are in a
booooring meeting that seems to last foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Don't kiss
an on-duty sumo wrestler; it is considered dangerous. The rest of the world says
"soccer". Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know
exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets. Kissing has a tremendous
safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. You can kiss: at the gym,
in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.Kissing requires
very little equipment, meaning you can do it even when unprepared, and even when you
have to travel light. These are often referred to as "extreme kissing".
This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and hang glidersKissing always
livens things up. There are so many kisses - at least one for each
occasion. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend
and your wife.Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization.
I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. Don't kiss a chainsaw;
we feel this one is self-explanatory. (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".I
say: "kissing". Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars,
Jupiter and in Afghanistan.Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the
environment.Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not
driving.Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano.
And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a
work-from-home hermit like me.But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football
and soccer seem like bush league sports. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't
use your tongue. And if not, at least you will make some new friends
to argue with.About The AuthorDavid Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.htmlAnd A
Daily Dose of Happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.htmlRead more humor columns at: http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.htmlInfo@thehappyguy.com.
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